Nanay (Mother)

photo credits to fineartamerica.com

          Mommy or Nanay  is the most utter name in the world.  We call their name when we are in the middle of jubilation, sadness or even you are in danger.  No one of us will never pass a day without thinking or seeing them because since we were an infant the first voice we heard is their lovely encouragement on our first time to walk or talk.  

Mother has the biggest influence in our lives and I attribute this to my mom and the moms who stood on us while we were young.  Influence such as patience and humility. 

   

We lost our father when I was 2 years old and basically my mom played as the provider and disciplinarian in the family.  Since we are five in the family, sustaining a living is very hard for a government employee whose take home pay was difficult to budget and most of the time, short, so my mom's mind was spinning where in the world she can take the fund to cover the deficit.  Thank God, my mom was  able to beat all the storms.

 

My Mom with Kyle (favourite grandson daw?)

 As far as I can remember and some of you has a mutual insights as mine or maybe you do this when your family starting to grow:

     

1.     No matter how tired from work, she still manage to wake us up the following morning, at 4 am to prepare our breakfast.

2.       She never stops to wake us up in in the morning during school days.  Voice that nags us and sometimes it’s sirang plaka (keeps on repeating the lyrics because of worn-out plate) to our ears.

3.       She never forget to bring home the food she tried whenever she dine with her friends.

4.     Afraid of her voice, if anyone of us made an offensive action, either we will be spank or hear a short exhortation.

5.       Her decision is like an iron that you cannot bend, what she said is final and you cannot bargain anymore.

6.     She always remind us through her actions that we should be satisfy of what she can afford to buy for us.  From foods, clothing to where school we're going to when I’m about to go to college. But, at that time she was lenient on me and gave me the freedom to which school I want to take the course of my liking.

Those traits are the factors that moulded our patience and humility as we  grow older.  Patience…maybe innate to my whole brood because that’s the way my mom raised us.  Just wait and things will come into places if we practice hard work and confidence.  Humility in all aspect was developed as we don’t have the power to argue and just follow what my mom thinks what is best for us. 

                To summarize those years, we are literally takot na takot (panicky)of her when she raise her voice and glare her eyes on us. 

                20 years rewind…

                My mom had a stroke in 1994, prior to that she was found out that her haemoglobin is abnormally high and later diagnosed with Polycythemia vera and it was too late that CVA(Cerebrovascular accident) or stroke will be prevented  if her CBC/platelet is constantly monitor every 2 weeks and sometimes phlebotomy is  to be done if  her haemoglobin level shoot doubled beyond the normal.  For years until her demise, her regular visit to the laboratory and Oncologist is like a child who wants to dine in Jollibee for a weekly reward.  And to top it all she religiously takes her medications and sometimes she’s nagmamarunong(charlatan) if she is going to discontinue her meds because she read/watched from somewhere else that it would affect her kidney or liver.  OMG!!! All of us needs to be patient in explaining to her that the dose was adjusted to prevent any damage on her major organs. But one thing we noticed is that she mellowed after her CVA.

1.       She easily laughs and sometimes we need to stop her because she might choke.

2.    Aha! It’s payback time…we admonished her if she cannot control to munch on those foods that she need to consume less or in moderation (putok batok).

3.       She learned how to be humorous:  if you asked her, Nanay ano na balita? She will reply: Labas ang hita or Nanay ano sauce or sawsawan then her answer: Sauce ng maryosep!

4.    She has a comical manner of reading the newspaper.  She reads it sideways from right to left maybe that’s the most comfortable way her eyes to accommodate. I assume her eyes was also affected when she had a stroke.

5.      She really changed.  When we were young, we used to have only one ulam (viand) in every meal.  It really surprised me every time I call them over the phone to ask whether they have eaten and what’s the ulam…2 side dishes are on the table but it should be soup the other dish for her to swallow the food easily.

Those are the funny moments we remember about mom’s 20 years ordeal with her condition and eventually became her lifestyle.  Her passing is still fresh to us, but we don’t want to dwell on those melancholic days but to cherish the happy moments with her. We are not affectionate to our mom as you know we are apprehensive even sharing our teeny bopper experiences so even saying we love her was not mentioned once.  I should say through our actions we were able to convey the message how we love and care for her.  Lessons learned and we always read and hear this advice: show our affection while our mom/parents are still alive.  It’s never too late to proclaim this: WE LOVE YOU NANAY!

I was really thankful for a chance to celebrate her last Mother’s Day in 2012, it was the most precious moment to us.

(L) Inanang Toyang with my Mom

 

L-R Inanang Ura, Amamang Tomas, Inanang Felisa, Inanang Pili
Photo credits to my cousin, Dazell

Ooops!  I also want to acknowledge the mommies who looked after us while my mom is not around when we were young.

Inanang Toyang (maternal grandmother) & Inanang Ura (paternal grandmother).  They alternate when no one is available to take care on us.  They were frail but still energetic to cuddle us.

Inanang Pili, who was brave and never stop to talk and pacify us when we start to cry.

Nanay Doring (my mom’s sister in-law), we learned from her to eat what is on the table and don’t complain.  That’s why I don’t have a problem in eating vegetable.

To all the mothers I salute you for your understanding, forgiving and never ending love & working beyond your body and soul can endure to mould us what we are now. 

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! To my Ate Dess, Happy mother’s day!

P.S. Nanay, please forgive me, I'm not a good writer like you and  I'm just trying hard to be with a purpose.